I Almost Died… This Was My Biggest Learning
Trying not to be consumed by everything around us is hard! It’s equally hard is to not push life’s challenging moments away and numb ourselves to them. Everyone has life stuff happening, not everyone has the resilience to deal with it.
Backstory
5 years ago I had a major motor accident, followed by nearly a year of extensive therapy to overcome significant damage and a fractured relationship between my amygdala and hippocampus.
I had to learn how to re-evaluate what I perceived as a danger from scratch. Learning how to assess and make quick decisions whilst ensuring my adrenaline levels stayed within a normal range wasn’t easy.
I used this as an opportunity to dig up old traumas and adapt my way of processing life situations. I learnt the true meaning of resilience. These were the main takeaways that I live by now:
Awareness
This is the most fundamental part when it comes to personal development. Whether it be self-awareness or a general sense of what is happening around you.
9/10 I am aware of how I’m feeling at surface level. But more importantly why I am feeling that way.
Delve deep, ask questions and be brutally honest with your answers.
Admitting to yourself that your ego has taken over, or you’re jealous of someone for whatever reason can only help you to move forward. I truly believe this is the first step to all life changes.
As for a general awareness, there’s an art when it comes to emotional intelligence. Not many people can read a room successfully, or read it at all. Tune into what people are saying, really listen and take time to think about what is being said before responding.
Processing
It’s so easy to sweep everything under the rug and continue on. But life has a way of making sure you’ve learnt a lesson. Trauma may reappear years down the line.
There’s a fine balance when it comes to consuming psychoanalysis of your feelings and simply allowing yourself to process.
I know I have a delayed processing system. Where it used to be years, I’m now in a place where I can start to process small life events/news within days. Bigger circumstances tend to take a bit longer, especially if there is a shock factor involved.
Think about how you process life events. Personally, for me, it’s crucial to spend time alone. I often need to be away from noise and chatter in order to digest the news. Walking helps my brain to piece everything together and ask those hard-hitting questions.
Acceptance
Finally, once the jigsaw is in place I’m able to proceed with any actions, respond from a place of calm, adapt my behaviour or simply continue on with life.
Accepting what has happened or what is happening isn’t easy. Especially when it’s likely to affect your present and future. Being able to observe how you are feeling without judgement will free you from a lot of heartaches.
There have been times with I’ve had to question those subconscious narratives that I’ve been left with and rewrite those to allow me to continue on. Taking a positive out of each life event helps, even if that positive is a lesson learnt to prevent a similar mistake in the future.
There’s no right or wrong way to process life events. For me, the most important thing is not to ignore them and live in ignorance.
Ignorance is not always bliss, especially when the challenges are staring you directly in the face.
